Our depression starts from confusion. It starts from the wrong decisions. It starts when we dont the exit the exit from current situation. It starts when you stop thinking about yourself, but you think how to make others happy. It starts when you are trying to please others, forgetting yourself. It starts when you afraid to hurt others, unknowingly hurting yourself deeply. Depression is the disease of the 21st century. Everyone thinks it will not happened to them.
It comes slowly, like a shadow. Crawling inside you…without noticing at first. You starting to lose interest in things, such as…what to eat, what to do, where to go. You prefer to sleep over any activities…or opposite…you are too restless. Your sleep is your safe happy zone, where you are happy with and within yourself, where you run away from the situation, from responsibilities, from decisions.
Your eyes look nowhere, they are just staring at things or people. You are holding your tears, because you dont want to show your emotions to others, because you want to make them happy…and if they start to talk to you…you are going more inside your shell. The laugh slowly feels like a fake mask, just that others dont see, what you are going through.
And there is a constant chest rock…so heavy, that you can’t breath fully. You became an emotionless human being, hiding to show what is really bothering you.
The feeling of nausea is your friend…its like constant fear to do or to say something wrong.
You are trying to find a place, just to be with yourself, with your thoughts, however, constant thinking that you can hurt others by your decision…and you stop thinking that you need you…your time…your space.
The loud noises started to irritate you, and you dont even want to explain that feeling. You just living, from one day to another, emotionless. Just one more day.
Thoughts to commit suicide come and go. Thanks you have someone in your life, that you can’t do that to them. However, the thought is coming, time to time.
Constipation is your friend this days, you are holding everything inside: fear, anger, ashamed, irritable, helpless…however, people around you just think you are selfish.
Think about yourself
Forget to make everyone happy
Remember, you deserve to live as you want
Do what makes you happy
Love and Light🙏🙏🙏